Tonight’s hookup safety checklist — what to do before you say yes

This checklist gives clear, quick steps to cut risk for a hookup planned tonight. It covers fast screening of the person, planning travel and meeting spots, on-site safety and consent, and simple aftercare. Tone is practical, nonjudgmental, and focused on protection.

Quick-screening steps: verify who you’re meeting

Do these checks in messages or a short video call. Keep them brief but firm.

Verify identity and profile consistency

• Compare photos across profiles or search a photo online to confirm the same face.
• Ask for a recent selfie or 10–30 second video with a simple prompt.
• Confirm basic facts: name, job, neighborhood. Note if answers change over time.

Spot red flags and dealbreakers

• Watch for inconsistent stories or rapid changes in details.
• Stop if language is aggressive, coercive, or if there is pressure to move locations fast.
• Refusal to meet in public or repeated excuses about why a call or video isn’t possible are warning signs.

Clear communication about intent and boundaries

• State expectations for the meetup and request the same clarity in return.
• Ask about STI status and contraception preferences before meeting.
• Set non-negotiables and agree on a short safe word or phrase to use if trouble starts.

Planning logistics: choose safer places and transport

hookup tonight — plan timing and moves so risk stays low.

Pick the right meeting spot

• Choose a busy, well-lit public place for the first meeting, like a coffee shop or bar.
• Avoid private homes or remote spots at the first meet. Pick places with staff nearby and easy exits.

Transport, arrival and leaving strategy

• Use personal transport or a reliable rideshare. Pre-book return rides if needed.
• Plan parking and exit routes. Keep a phone charged and keys in hand on leaving.
• Do not get in a vehicle alone if heavily intoxicated or if the driver seems risky.

Inform a trusted contact and share check-in details

• Tell one friend who, where, and when. Set a check-in time.
• Use discreet location sharing or set a code word to signal trouble.

On-site safety and consent: what to do during the meetup

Stay alert and keep control of personal choices. Consent must be clear and ongoing.

First impressions and meeting protocol

• Meet in the public spot first. Keep personal items and drinks within sight.
• Limit alcohol or drugs until trust is established. Trust instincts and leave if uneasy.

Ongoing consent and boundary checks

• Ask for clear consent before each new step. A lack of clear “yes” means stop.
• If either person is impaired, pause and reassess. Consent given while impaired is not valid.
• Respect “no” immediately without pressure or negotiation.

Managing substances and impaired decision-making

• Do not accept drinks from others without watching them poured. Refuse unknown drugs.
• Decline pressure to mix substances. Recognize impairment erases meaningful consent.

Emergency exits and on-the-spot actions

• Have exit options ready: leave to a public area, ask staff for help, call a rideshare or taxi.
• Use a friend or venue staff to create an excuse to leave if needed. Call authorities if in immediate danger.

Immediate steps to take if you feel unsafe

• Move to a public space and stay where others are present.
• Call or text the emergency contact and use the agreed code word.
• Note identifying details or record a short screen of messages. Call emergency services if threatened.

Safety tools and apps to use tonight

• Enable discreet location sharing with a trusted contact.
• Use a personal safety app with a panic button and rideshare apps that share trip details.
• Save local emergency numbers in the phone before heading out.

Aftercare, follow-up, and when to report

After the meetup, handle health, emotions, and any reporting needs quickly.

Emotional and physical aftercare

• Check in with a friend, rest, hydrate, and monitor physical and emotional responses.
• Seek support from a professional or hotline if feeling shaken or with signs of trauma.

Sexual health follow-up

• Get STI testing as advised; consider emergency contraception within the correct timeframe.
• If relevant, discuss testing and next steps with the other person calmly and directly.

Documenting, blocking, and reporting inappropriate behavior

• Preserve messages and any evidence if coercion or assault occurred. Block the person on the app.
• Report the user to tender-bang.com and contact local authorities or a support service if assaulted.

Prioritize safety over pressure. A few quick checks before and during a same-night meetup cut risk and make clearer choices.